When The Employer Says No: Dealing With Rejection In The Job Search

You interview. You do all you know how.

The hiring committee closes the doors and you wait. The answer is…no.


Sorry. Somebody else was chosen. How will you deal with the sting of rejection?

First will come stunned disbelief , then burning shame, then anger.

Dealing with the “no”, unlike some may tell you, is not to be casually brushed aside. Dealing with the “no” is the process of  grieving–handling loss.  A job hunter needs to handle rejection efficiently and quickly.

Deep down, nobody wants to go job hunting because it is by nature a soul-crushing situation where you hear “no” over and over again.  Fear of rejection keeps many chained to jobs they hate. Nobody likes rejection. What is even worse is that  as you deal with the latest insult to your ego, you may at the same time be in some stage of dealing with the original pain of being terminated. 

When  an employer says no it feels like your heart has been torn out and trampled.  Every “no” strikes like a bullet and you stagger around emotionally wounded. Do not make the mistake of attempting to ignore your feelings.  Own your sadness. Own your anger. Something in your life is dead. You are suffering the effect of loss. You are grieving. What you are going through is so similar to what a person who has lost a loved one through death experiences. it may be beneficial to learn some lessons from handling death in the family. Study grieving. Check this out:


If you are beginning to self-medicate to dull the pain please seek help. There may be free or low cost counseling services in your neighborhood even in these times when social services are getting huge cutbacks. Patch into your house of worship. Find positive association while you are seeking work. Read inspirational literature. Be aware of  depression  Whatever you do,  do not attempt this journey alone. Loneliness is deadly.


One thought on “When The Employer Says No: Dealing With Rejection In The Job Search

  1. Economic times and sudden job loss are challenging for sure.
    Recently I lost a job I loved for 18 years. However, I was able to turn my shock and fear into joy, opportunity, and deeper meaning within 7 days by following a simple plan……..even included one miracle.
    I was inspired to write a brief book about my experience and outcome. Details on website:
    http://www.rp-author.com/Webbon. Available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.com
    I hope you will read my story and share with others.
    My hope is that the plan I followed will have as much value for others as it did for me.
    Wishing all only the very best in moving forward.
    Linda Webbon http://www.rp-author.com/Webbon


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